This post is a part of the Summer of Loving Kindness (or winter, if you are a southern dweller like I am), a beautiful project hatched from Luminous Heart.
They say love is like a cup: you have got to fill your own before you give.
They also say love is like I cup: if yours is empty, the best way to fill it up is by filling up other cups.
I don’t do well with an empty cup, but it doesn’t need to be full for me to give. All I need is a few drops of my own mead: a 5 minute meditation; a few seconds of pulling myself out of the dark center of my mind.
I can’t fill it up with more than those few drops. I suffer strongly at the hands of the demons in my head, as they grasp my neck and shoulders. I can’t fly with my wings like that and the bastards know it.
A simple little note to let someone know I am proud of them. A short piece of poetry sent on facebook to express my love. Smiling and saying hello to someone I pass by on the street.
I know it is not much and there are many people that do this as a part of life- it is normal for them. I want that so much, where on-going love and kindness is just what is done. Without having to live in a hippie commune. I want to give more.
I can’t. I need to overfill my own cup.
Better idea: break the cup.
Stop looking for external validation. Let what ever I fill myself with, no matter how small the drop, flow within me through my veins. I have everything I need right now. I breathe, I am clothed, I have food, I have shelter. There are really just two things I need to know.
What lovingkindness can I give now?
And how?
I am not looking for advice- these are questions only I can answer, questions whose answers are unique to me, unique to you.
They are questions that are not often asked. When they are, the answers are not often acted upon. The world fades to just you. I forget that we are all linked by fine gossamer strands, an unseen web.
So, a new practice:
- Break the cup
- Answer the questions
- Spill the mead of lovingkindness like dew on a web
- Repeat